i have been itching for some time to get back to blogging, but unfortunately, eric and i are still without house, and thus, without internet still as well.  i won't go into details for now, but we are going to see one more house that i'm really praying will be the one.  in the meantime, how about a little therapeutic picture dump?

fall is in the air, and i couldn't be happier.  labor day was everything i was hoping it would be and more, from my crisp, chilly run in the country to start my day, to the sunset at night.  it was the first day after i completed my daniel fast, and i splurged with an amazing pumpkin spice latte on our way to visit my mother-in-law's family in goshen.

it was amazing to have a day off after all of the crazy that has been going on with our fall programming starting up at work.  and being able to wear jeans and a sweater on said day off was just icing on the cake.


in goshen, we celebrated eric's grandparents' 60th anniversary on their beautiful property.  i took the opportunity to visit with wonderful loved ones and play around with my camera, which i'm finally getting comfortable using in manual mode (it only took me a whopping eight months).

okay, i swear i'm back.  this week has been all kinds of ridiculous with my blasé attitude toward just about everything.  i don't know what my funk has been, but i think i've been pulled out of it by a simple walk with my hubs and our pups.

every winter, i go through this phase where i forget how much i need the outdoors.  it's easy to desire the warmth and comfort of the indoors, curling up under a blanket to watch sweet november.  so when eric called me on his way home tonight to ask me to get ready to take the dogs for a walk with him, i was resistant.  really?  do we have to?  can't we just let them run around in the backyard?  eric persisted.  so i bundled up and we headed out, each of us with our respective dogs in tow, cookies stocked in our pockets for positive reinforcement, and me with my camera.

i breathed in the cold, crisp air, felt the slight sting of it on my face.  i walked side-by-side with my husband, the love of my life, with the snow crunching under my boots, the dogs tangling themselves up in each other's leashes, and embraced it all.  whereas the hustle and bustle of the rest of this week has left me thinking, "this is my life," this walk allowed me an opportunity to get away from it all, slow down, and put things in perspective.  "this is my life."  how incredibly blessed i am.

anyone that reads my blog may have noticed i've been somewhat absent this week.  i have been a tired mrs. crankypants and have had zero motivation to contribute to this little blog-o-mine.

i've also had zero motivation to cook, clean or P90X.

last night i went to bed at 9:30.

do you think it's a coincidence that all of this is taking place at the same time that i decided to cut all sweets from my diet for a week?

i think not.  someone get me some chocolate before i, a) hurt someone, b) lapse into a deep depression or c) eat everything in sight in an attempt to forget about the fact that i can't have sugar.

really, is having a smaller waist worth risking my mental health?  please, somebody help me justify giving up on this week-long battle.  if you do, i'll share my chocolate with you.

but not too much.

the tree came down today, and the last of the presents found a proper home.

christmas lists have been traded in for new year's resolutions.

today is a time for reflection, and tomorrow is a time for new beginning.

there is something absolutely magical about this day, and my day truly summed up my 2010 experience.  i started it off with breakfast in bed.  the hubs made me eggs, toast and coffee (swoon).  the love that i have experienced from him this year has been more than i could have ever hoped for from someone.  wedding events and honeymooning were wonderful to us in 2009, but 2010 was the year that really solidified this whole marriage thing for us.  we finally met some days that tested us, which was a new experience as everything prior to that had been roses.  but you know what?  we still haven't had a real fight.  i think that speaks volumes of our communication and willingness to swallow our pride.  but even more than that, i think it speaks so highly of the ways that God works when you allow him to take the reigns.

today was also mind-boggling crazy.  there was a huge to-do list and not everything ended up getting checked off.  i have felt so often this year that i just fill and fill my time.  i started my first full-time job at the end of last year, so this is still fairly new to me.  on top of that, i have begun to go deeper with my leadership in young life, spending more time with girls outside of our weekly club meetings, and also taking on a small group on sunday nights.  i trained for three races this year, and as if all of this wasn't enough, got a new puppy and started a blog.  somehow it all just works, although nothing seems to ever get crossed off the to-do list, at least as far as my house is concerned.

2010 has really been a year of discovering myself.  i have explored my passions, my heart and my faith.  i have been tested in ways that i would have never imagined were possible and discovered both creativity and strength that i never knew i had.  heading into 2011, the sky is the limit.  my new year's resolution for 2010?  to run at least a half marathon.  what i accomplished?  two half marathons and a full marathon in which i raised $2900 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  take that, 2010.

watch out 2011, because i'm about to blow your mind.  especially with these three in my life.  as long as i've got their love, nothing can hold me back:

i am 24 years old.  i am a wife and a homeowner.  i already have a bachelor degree in exercise science.  by all accounts, i guess that makes me a grownup.  so why is it that i still struggle with what i want to do "when i grow up"?

i'll be honest, if i hadn't fallen in love with eric and moved to fort wayne, this probably wouldn't be an issue for me.  if not for him, i would likely be in chicago right now, continuing to do what i became passionate about during my internship in the city in 2008.  i would have my personal training certification by now and likely a list of clients that i would be helping to shape into healthier, happier individuals.  i would have my own spin class, where i could drip with sweat and yell out fun affirmations like, "you can do it!  only 10 more seconds until the top of this hill!  push through it!"  at this point in the year, we would be in the midst of a huge football-themed incentive program, and teams would be battling it out as the season draws near the end.  i would see co-workers become more competitive than you can imagine, showing up at the fitness center before work, at lunch, and after work, not even for the prize-in-store, but more for their sense of pride.  who knows, i might even be totally ripped by now (ha!).

i worked at big red...

...and this was my stage.  i miss my stage.

side note:  on the other hand, i wouldn't have the love of my life, wouldn't have found Young Life, definitely wouldn't have two dogs and probably wouldn't have felt a push to discover other passions in my life like crafting and blogging.  can you imagine?!

i loved the corporate fitness world and the sense of community built amongst co-workers.  i loved the relationships i built and guiding individuals that didn't feel like they could reach their health and fitness goals on their own.  unfortunately, there isn't really a market for corporate fitness in fort wayne, so i took on a job as a receptionist at a law office.  the job has its perks, including the same hours as eric, weekends off, and an opportunity to work with three of my close friends.  however, it's no secret that this is not what i want to do for the rest of my life.  collection law is not where my heart is.  i have too many passions in this life to spend the majority of my day doing something i don't love.

and so, the search is on, and the sky is the limit (literally - i've thought in the past that i would love to be a pilot).  i love taking pictures, so maybe i should learn the ins and outs of photography.  i know a ton about bridal fashion and love following the different designers; maybe i should work at a bridal salon or even open my own.  i really enjoy crafting and blogging, and omgosh, i've seen listings for professional bloggers.  you can get paid a salary for this???  i also really happen to love, with my whole heart, working with high school kids through Young Life and wish that i could do it all the time.  what would a job in youth ministry look like for me?

the most serious plan i've been able to come up with is this:  after having children, i would be a stay-at-home, but would teach group exercise and potentially do some personal training on the side.  i would also go back to school to get my teaching degree so that, by the time our children started school, i would hopefully be able to find a job as a high school math teacher (did i mention i think i'm some kind of weirdo that's both right- and left-brained?). 

as you can see, i'm a bit all-over-the-map.  but as far as i'm concerned, i would rather spend the rest of my life trying to pursue my passions and figure this thing out than come to the end of it and wonder why i settled. 

life is too short, folks.  what are you doing to pursue what you love?

i have been having a day just completely full of doubt and messy stuff.  i was trying so hard to figure out how to put my thoughts into words and failing miserably.  and then i heard this song on pandora and, you know what?  it kind of brightened things up. 

so i'll save the messy stuff for another day.  because right now, this song needs to be shared: