oh yeah, that's why i run...

today marked the first time i've run since completing my first, and what will likely be my last, marathon.  that was three weeks ago.

i started off this year with a resolution of sorts to run at least a half marathon.  well, eleven months later, here i stand with two half marathons and a full marathon under my belt.  i still don't think the significance of what i have pushed my body to do this year has fully sunk in yet.  all i know is, in the course of it all, i lost my passion.

running a half marathon was one of the most incredible highs i've ever experienced.  but training for a full marathon just absolutely sucked the joy out of running for me.  i got to the point that what once felt like my own personal form of therapy began to feel like a chore.  it was something i had to do to prepare.  toward the end of my training, i strained my glutes on both sides.  yes, i strained my butt.  feel free to laugh.  i know i would have if it wasn't so painful and stressful not knowing whether i was going to be able to complete something i worked so hard to achieve. 

but i did it...i finished something that only an estimated .1% of the population will ever accomplish and it was strenuous and exhausting and altogether hard as hell.  but where was the high?!  i certainly didn't feel it, and even now that my body has recovered, i still have yet to feel it.  so although i've been saying for the past three weeks that i haven't been running because i'm giving my body time to recover, the truth is, i just haven't wanted to. 

and then, this morning, i forced myself to get up at 5:30 am and hit the pavement.

i didn't allow myself to think that two miles was a copout.  i didn't even take my music.  it was just me, my puppy and the trail.  i focused on nothing but my steady breathing, the rhythm of my steps, and the crisp, cold morning air on my face.  this morning was nothing short of glorious.

don't get me wrong, i have every intention of keeping this thing on the mantle for a while (or at least i would if we had a mantle).  something i know now is that it's not the distance that i run that matters.  it's mornings like this one, where i reclaim my passion, that define me as a runner.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 1, 2010 and is filed under ,,. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response.

One Response to “oh yeah, that's why i run...”

  1. Thanks for stopping by my blog! We should totally be friends (see I can be all kindergarten like too)! Have no fear, I am not a Reds fan, it's my husbands biggest fault. I am actually a lifelong Cardinals fan, it's a miracle that my husband and I survive baseball season without killing each other.

    And you're a runner too? I ran my first ever half marathon in March and am about to sign up for it again (and start training again, I too lost the passion for a little bit). I look forward to reading your blog and finding out what else we have in common!

    ps- I also don't use my degree and am totally not bitter about it either. Nope. Not at all....