sweater: Kohl's; jeans: LOFT; boots: JC Penney; hat: Loehmann's; scarf: target; necklace: Forever21; socks: Target

do you like how i'm immediately posting this after that last dreadful outfit in the hopes that you all will just pass over that one and forget it happened?  except now i'm mentioning it, which just draws attention to it.  crap.  can we just strike this from the record?


today was a busy day around these parts.  it consisted of vacuum and valentine's day gift shopping to start things off.  you know what's sad?  when you become so acclimated to frigid temperatures that you sweat when you're out and about when it reaches 37 degrees.  c'est la midwest vie.

so after picking up our new Shark, assembling it, sweeping our living room (during which i had to empty the canister five times from all the hair it picked up that our last hunk of junk didn't (gross)), and wrapping the hub's gift, i decided this warmer weather called for a run.  i announced this intention to Lily, and this was her reaction:























oh, yes, this little lady knows the word "run".  in fact, it's one of her favorite words in the whole world, along with peanut butter, cookie and snuggle.  she was ecstatic.  so i bundled up in the clothes that i love most and hit the pavement:

riddle me this:  what would you get if you crossed a Lily and a Titan?  (hint: see the background for the answer)

the two of us had such a wonderful run, with the sun shining down on us and the cold air in our lungs.  i love that after not running for about three months, that three miles was a breeze.  now if only i could undo the mental damage that training for a marathon did, all would be good.  i still have such a problem feeling like three miles isn't enough after running 12, 15 and 18 miles at a time.  oy vey.

today marked the first time i've run since completing my first, and what will likely be my last, marathon.  that was three weeks ago.

i started off this year with a resolution of sorts to run at least a half marathon.  well, eleven months later, here i stand with two half marathons and a full marathon under my belt.  i still don't think the significance of what i have pushed my body to do this year has fully sunk in yet.  all i know is, in the course of it all, i lost my passion.

running a half marathon was one of the most incredible highs i've ever experienced.  but training for a full marathon just absolutely sucked the joy out of running for me.  i got to the point that what once felt like my own personal form of therapy began to feel like a chore.  it was something i had to do to prepare.  toward the end of my training, i strained my glutes on both sides.  yes, i strained my butt.  feel free to laugh.  i know i would have if it wasn't so painful and stressful not knowing whether i was going to be able to complete something i worked so hard to achieve. 

but i did it...i finished something that only an estimated .1% of the population will ever accomplish and it was strenuous and exhausting and altogether hard as hell.  but where was the high?!  i certainly didn't feel it, and even now that my body has recovered, i still have yet to feel it.  so although i've been saying for the past three weeks that i haven't been running because i'm giving my body time to recover, the truth is, i just haven't wanted to. 

and then, this morning, i forced myself to get up at 5:30 am and hit the pavement.

i didn't allow myself to think that two miles was a copout.  i didn't even take my music.  it was just me, my puppy and the trail.  i focused on nothing but my steady breathing, the rhythm of my steps, and the crisp, cold morning air on my face.  this morning was nothing short of glorious.

don't get me wrong, i have every intention of keeping this thing on the mantle for a while (or at least i would if we had a mantle).  something i know now is that it's not the distance that i run that matters.  it's mornings like this one, where i reclaim my passion, that define me as a runner.