i am 24 years old.  i am a wife and a homeowner.  i already have a bachelor degree in exercise science.  by all accounts, i guess that makes me a grownup.  so why is it that i still struggle with what i want to do "when i grow up"?

i'll be honest, if i hadn't fallen in love with eric and moved to fort wayne, this probably wouldn't be an issue for me.  if not for him, i would likely be in chicago right now, continuing to do what i became passionate about during my internship in the city in 2008.  i would have my personal training certification by now and likely a list of clients that i would be helping to shape into healthier, happier individuals.  i would have my own spin class, where i could drip with sweat and yell out fun affirmations like, "you can do it!  only 10 more seconds until the top of this hill!  push through it!"  at this point in the year, we would be in the midst of a huge football-themed incentive program, and teams would be battling it out as the season draws near the end.  i would see co-workers become more competitive than you can imagine, showing up at the fitness center before work, at lunch, and after work, not even for the prize-in-store, but more for their sense of pride.  who knows, i might even be totally ripped by now (ha!).

i worked at big red...

...and this was my stage.  i miss my stage.

side note:  on the other hand, i wouldn't have the love of my life, wouldn't have found Young Life, definitely wouldn't have two dogs and probably wouldn't have felt a push to discover other passions in my life like crafting and blogging.  can you imagine?!

i loved the corporate fitness world and the sense of community built amongst co-workers.  i loved the relationships i built and guiding individuals that didn't feel like they could reach their health and fitness goals on their own.  unfortunately, there isn't really a market for corporate fitness in fort wayne, so i took on a job as a receptionist at a law office.  the job has its perks, including the same hours as eric, weekends off, and an opportunity to work with three of my close friends.  however, it's no secret that this is not what i want to do for the rest of my life.  collection law is not where my heart is.  i have too many passions in this life to spend the majority of my day doing something i don't love.

and so, the search is on, and the sky is the limit (literally - i've thought in the past that i would love to be a pilot).  i love taking pictures, so maybe i should learn the ins and outs of photography.  i know a ton about bridal fashion and love following the different designers; maybe i should work at a bridal salon or even open my own.  i really enjoy crafting and blogging, and omgosh, i've seen listings for professional bloggers.  you can get paid a salary for this???  i also really happen to love, with my whole heart, working with high school kids through Young Life and wish that i could do it all the time.  what would a job in youth ministry look like for me?

the most serious plan i've been able to come up with is this:  after having children, i would be a stay-at-home, but would teach group exercise and potentially do some personal training on the side.  i would also go back to school to get my teaching degree so that, by the time our children started school, i would hopefully be able to find a job as a high school math teacher (did i mention i think i'm some kind of weirdo that's both right- and left-brained?). 

as you can see, i'm a bit all-over-the-map.  but as far as i'm concerned, i would rather spend the rest of my life trying to pursue my passions and figure this thing out than come to the end of it and wonder why i settled. 

life is too short, folks.  what are you doing to pursue what you love?