i know i still have 11 weeks and 4 days to go, but i'm beginning to feel like i'm in the home stretch of this pregnancy.  coming into my final trimester this week has had wonderful effects on my outlook, but now i've done a 180 and am at the point where my thoughts are consumed by, "holy moly, we only have 9 weeks until i'm full term and we still don't have a crib or a babysitter or a pediatrician and omgoshourhouseisamessandthere'ssomuchtodoandsolittletime!!!"  yes, that's how jumbled it all feels.  on top of that, my goodness, where has the time gone for documenting this pregnancy?  i've been so lousy.  so here are the highlights of the past trimester of my pregnancy:

18 weeks:  i felt the baby move in a way that couldn't be confused with gas.  i was in a cpr training and every time i leaned over to give my mannequin rescue breaths, it would give me a swift kick right behind the belly button.  i giggled a few times, mostly over its inconvenient timing in making itself known, but also just out of joy that i could finally feel some kind of reassurance that this baby is full of life and such a big part of me.

19 weeks:  i followed the advice of friends in guzzling orange juice before going in for my ultrasound to make the baby move so we could see its parts.  immediately upon laying down, i announced to the ultrasound tech, unprompted, "we want to know what it is!"  i felt my stomach twist in knots when she announced, after 15 minutes of picture taking, that the baby might be moving too much to get a good look.  i watched it doing flips in me on the screen before calming down enough for us to hear from the tech that she was "leaning girl."  i. was. stunned.  i was absolutely sure this child was a boy.  i had daydreamed the entire nursery and my mom and i had just picked out a boy outfit the week before.  was i disappointed?  absolutely not.  i cried, elated to know more about the identity of our child, able to finally call it "she" instead of "it."  i immediately began daydreaming less about boy things and more about the relationship potential between a mother and daughter.  eric and i walked out of the hospital, hand in hand, grinning from ear to ear.

22 weeks:  i made the decision to switch my care to that of a midwife.  it was something that i had been exploring throughout my pregnancy, but after my 20 week appointment, i knew for sure that i wanted something more intimate than the doctor experience.  i set up a consult with the only midwife our insurance covers and through answered prayers, she turned out to be everything i was hoping for.  she told me that i will be able to call the shots during labor, deciding for myself how active to be, what position to deliver in, and intervention will not be pushed at all.  in fact, most of her patients don't receive any intervention and her c-section rate is extremely low.  i feel now like i will have the best of both worlds, with the security of delivering at a hospital, but also with the empowerment of being able to decide what the experience will look like for us.

23 weeks:  i got to see baby girl move from the outside for the first time.  i was sitting in the dentist's chair waiting for novocaine to kick in so i could get a filling.  i'm telling you, the timing of this girl just shows me how little i am in control and serves as a wonderful reminder that i don't have to be; that no matter what my plan is, God's plan will always reign.

24 weeks:  holy moly, where did this belly come from??  i had a little boy at the Y point at my belly and without reservation, proclaim, "whoa!  your belly is so much bigger!"  somebody give this kid a prize, because my midwife agreed.  in a four week period, my uterus stretched and grew about eight weeks' worth.  after an ultrasound to confirm no extra fluid, i walked out feeling rather large and in charge and resolving to eat a little less chocolate (not that i've actually followed through).

it was during this week that i also experienced my first real emotional breakdown...sobbing in the walmart produce section...over a messed up picture order.  eric calmed me down in time to get in the car, where i ran over a cat, and the whole breakdown started over again.

27 weeks:  eric left for a week to go on spring break, as a leader, with campus life.  it was during this week that i realized just how much this man has done for me throughout this pregnancy.  he has been my rock.  he has taken on more responsibility around the house, is so patient and understanding when dinner doesn't happen and naps take precedence over household chores, and is always willing to give a backrub.  i love this man...and i missed him desperately.

and now, at 28 weeks:  i am beginning to feel uncomfortable.  good sleep is now a thing of the past, my back is constantly aching, i have to pee about 25 times a day and about 3 times at night, i no longer have any kind of aerobic capacity, and my thighs seem to have doubled in size.  but as crazy as it sounds, i will miss this.  there are days that i complain, but i love that i regularly have to make the choice to surrender my body to this amazing miracle.  when i can choose to let go of my desire to be in control, what i'm left with is the perfect little girl that i get to hang out with all day long and connect with in a way that nobody else can.  and that is an amazing blessing.

sweater: Banana Republic; skirt: thrifted; shoes: Bandolino; coat: Guess; scarf: Target; belt: Forever21; tights: ?

it's time for a little game i just made up called, "guess lauren and eric's age?"

this weekend, eric and i packed up the pooches and headed to ohio to visit my family for the weekend (hence the lack of posting).

the trip back was such a relaxing time for me to just be able to enjoy the company of my husband.  it consisted of the following:

1.  eric's old-man cardigan with suede patches on the shoulders and elbows, which i happen to love on him.

2.  me knitting.  eric chuckled when he asked me what i was making and i responded, "what do you think i'm making?  i only know squares and rectangles."  but you know what?  i make squares and rectangles like a champ.

3.  listening to garrison keillor's a prairie home companion on NPR.
























...and i totally understand and won't be offended at all if you guess 65.

okay, i swear i'm back.  this week has been all kinds of ridiculous with my blasé attitude toward just about everything.  i don't know what my funk has been, but i think i've been pulled out of it by a simple walk with my hubs and our pups.

every winter, i go through this phase where i forget how much i need the outdoors.  it's easy to desire the warmth and comfort of the indoors, curling up under a blanket to watch sweet november.  so when eric called me on his way home tonight to ask me to get ready to take the dogs for a walk with him, i was resistant.  really?  do we have to?  can't we just let them run around in the backyard?  eric persisted.  so i bundled up and we headed out, each of us with our respective dogs in tow, cookies stocked in our pockets for positive reinforcement, and me with my camera.

i breathed in the cold, crisp air, felt the slight sting of it on my face.  i walked side-by-side with my husband, the love of my life, with the snow crunching under my boots, the dogs tangling themselves up in each other's leashes, and embraced it all.  whereas the hustle and bustle of the rest of this week has left me thinking, "this is my life," this walk allowed me an opportunity to get away from it all, slow down, and put things in perspective.  "this is my life."  how incredibly blessed i am.

the tree came down today, and the last of the presents found a proper home.

christmas lists have been traded in for new year's resolutions.

today is a time for reflection, and tomorrow is a time for new beginning.

there is something absolutely magical about this day, and my day truly summed up my 2010 experience.  i started it off with breakfast in bed.  the hubs made me eggs, toast and coffee (swoon).  the love that i have experienced from him this year has been more than i could have ever hoped for from someone.  wedding events and honeymooning were wonderful to us in 2009, but 2010 was the year that really solidified this whole marriage thing for us.  we finally met some days that tested us, which was a new experience as everything prior to that had been roses.  but you know what?  we still haven't had a real fight.  i think that speaks volumes of our communication and willingness to swallow our pride.  but even more than that, i think it speaks so highly of the ways that God works when you allow him to take the reigns.

today was also mind-boggling crazy.  there was a huge to-do list and not everything ended up getting checked off.  i have felt so often this year that i just fill and fill my time.  i started my first full-time job at the end of last year, so this is still fairly new to me.  on top of that, i have begun to go deeper with my leadership in young life, spending more time with girls outside of our weekly club meetings, and also taking on a small group on sunday nights.  i trained for three races this year, and as if all of this wasn't enough, got a new puppy and started a blog.  somehow it all just works, although nothing seems to ever get crossed off the to-do list, at least as far as my house is concerned.

2010 has really been a year of discovering myself.  i have explored my passions, my heart and my faith.  i have been tested in ways that i would have never imagined were possible and discovered both creativity and strength that i never knew i had.  heading into 2011, the sky is the limit.  my new year's resolution for 2010?  to run at least a half marathon.  what i accomplished?  two half marathons and a full marathon in which i raised $2900 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.  take that, 2010.

watch out 2011, because i'm about to blow your mind.  especially with these three in my life.  as long as i've got their love, nothing can hold me back:

if there is anything my husband hates, it's shopping.  the second we walk into a store, by the look on his face, you would think someone just told him his puppy died.  so when he suggested we go christmas shopping together earlier this week, initially my jaw dropped.  then i got excited.  and then i became skeptical.

i have to admit, he rocked today.  the dead puppy face made minimal appearances, even after six hours of shopping.  we managed to finish up both of my brothers, one of his sisters, his mom, his grandma, and all three of the kids we picked off of the angel tree at church.  i also found a dress for my work christmas party next weekend and snuck in a purchase for eric while he wasn't looking.  all-in-all, a pretty successful shopping day.

i don't know if he would have made it without the stop we made at the food court to eat at panda express.  the man loves panda.

after shopping, we changed into our jams and watched "the muppet christmas movie" while we finished decorating our tree.  it's so much fun pulling all of the ornaments out of storage.  every year for christmas, my grandma gives all 14 grandchildren (16 now with spouses) an ornament.  how she has always managed to keep track of what we all like amazes me.  for 8 years, my theme was "i love lucy":

i realize my love for this woman may be bordering on unhealthy.

this is a post that i've been avoiding for a while.  how on earth can i possibly capture the best day of my life to date in a few words?  i'm not really sure, but i think it's time i try.

waking up felt like christmas, except 23947 times better.  you know how every other day of the year is a struggle to get out of bed?  or is that just me?  but then christmas rolls around and the second you start to come to, you remember what day it is and immediately jump up, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to go.  or is that just me too?

one of the things that i remember most about our wedding day is the overall sense of calm i felt leading up to the ceremony.  even when my sister-in-law's dress managed to pick up some gum from the church parking lot and the hem of my dress ripped, leading to some last-minute repairs.  i didn't even have to will myself to be calm.  it just happened naturally, and i was so thankful for that.


the black ring was my something borrowed and was the first piece of jewelry my grandpa ever gave my grandma




priceless.


i will never forget the look on eric's face when i walked down the aisle.  i love our family and friends, but as far as my memory is concerned, he may as well have been the only one there.



i also will never forget how long the song that my aunt sang for us seemed to be, simply because it was between the time that we lit the unity candle and when we were pronounced as husband and wife and finally got to kiss each other.


michelle featherstone - we are man and wife.  beautiful.

it's amazing to me how the most memories from the day are wrapped up in the 30 minute ceremony.  before and after that is pretty much a blur, but those 30 minutes will forever hold a place in my memory for the weight that it holds; when we got to declare our love for each other in front of God and all of the people that we love most.


then we had a greeting line (i wish i had known how long those things take...whew!), took some pictures and were an hour late to our reception.  i'm sure that was a pain in the butt for some, but we were married, so i didn't sweat it.  the food was great, the dj was wonderful, and the company wasn't so bad either.









we danced to all of the wedding favorites and at one point, a dance-off took place between the funniest four-year-old i've ever met and one of my besties' husband.  sadly, this also didn't get captured on video.  obviously if i could do it over again, i would hire a videographer.




when i look back at our wedding, it's not the fact that we didn't hire a videographer or the little snags that stand out to me.  because at the end of the day, i was married to my best friend, the most wonderful man i have ever and will ever know. 

and that made it a perfect day.